nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
