Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
