Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
