I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
