Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
