I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
