Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
