Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
