so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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