Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
