Fuck appropriateness.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
