I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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