he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
