No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
