i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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