i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
