Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
