there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
