I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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