is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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