after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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