he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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