so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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