I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
