So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
