I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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