Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
