$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
