I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
