Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
high people should be assigned attendants
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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