Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
