thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
