I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
