dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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