Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
