We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
