Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My bed smells like the plague
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
