I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize