So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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