that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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