So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
