how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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