she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
