Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
