My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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