i barfeds in our rink
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
