two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
