someone threw a dead crab at me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
