last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
