There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you win again, gameday.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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