How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
